She told him Matt didn't exactly regret it. She didn't exactly; it had hurt Ryan, and that was what she wanted. But it wasn't like she had used him like that. Plus, she knew, he had gotten what he wanted. Maybe they had used each other? But I didn't use him, she thought. Just because we did it didn't mean I used him. It just happened, she thought, we both got pleasure out of it, and that's that.She pushed away any guilty feelings, telling herself that people had casual sex all the time, so why shouldn't she? Why should she have to deal with love all the time? Sex was a natural thing, and humans were animals, and animals did each other all the time without dealing with love.She could fuck Kasey of course, that would be okay. She felt so free; now that she was "single" she felt like she had been released from something, something which she kept telling herself was false and detrimental.He was different from Ryan, that's for certain. And he liked her too. She hadn't ever pictured herself. With his hands in the pockets of his well-worn jeans, he began to pace around my room."I haven't been able to sleep because I've been worrying and watching over you. Look, there's a lot I need to tell you and I'm probably going to mess it up. Just try and stick with me, okay?"Trying to ignore the small curl of fear in my belly, I agreed."Do you remember in the basement? After Steve staked that bastard who attacked you, you overheard us talking. Even though you were dying in my arms you found the strength to open your eyes and ask me to stake you too, rather than let you become like him."Yes, I remembered. He'd brushed the hair away from eyes and promised to keep me from becoming a vampire. I nodded at him because my throat was swollen shut with fear."Do you remember me slicing my wrist and making you drink my blood? Then I took some of yours?"Again, I nodded. I remembered."Do you remember what happened next?"I did. I wasn't sure I could get the words out. I tried, but my voice.
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